Grandma’s Footprints

I wore Grandma’s shoes to Easter Service today. This poem was written after I’d reflected on those shoes.

Grandma wasn’t in church this Easter,

But her legacy was, still.

Grandma’s shoes, they led us there;

The family she built.

Sunday morning;

Easter lilies;

Jesus is Alive!

Grandma taught us all to pray,

Hosanna, in the highest!

Grandma and Grandpa used to skate.

They’d roll and stroll and dream.

I wonder if they dreamt of how far

the love they shared would reach.

The stone was rolled away, they taught.

We listened and believed.

Grandma and Grandpa’s legacy of faith—

A blessed legacy, indeed.

Grandma— We all miss her so, you see

Her song, her laugh, her grace

So many things we love and miss

on this side of eternity.

Grandma went to Heaven;

We imagine the beauty she beholds.

She sings and skates, worships and prays,

Along the crystal shore.

Easter Sunday- ruffles and lace;

Pretty dresses, coats, and ties;

Grandma’s shoes still lead us there;

A guiding footprint from the skies.

Grandpa loves his sweetheart so;

He puts on his Easter coat and tie.

Grandma’s home and she patiently waits;

The end of his ministry drawing nigh.

Grandma’s footprints go beside him;

Her faithful steps we still see.

Her support and submission evident;

A Proverbs 31 woman, we have all seen.

“How beautiful are the feet

of those who bring good news.”

Grandma’s footprints continue to show us

The Good News of Eternal peace.

Happy Easter, Grandma and Grandpa Bliffen

Your loving granddaughter, Sarah

Free Hugs

Several months ago, I was blessed, along with some friends from a small group Bible Study class to listen to a sermon by John Weece, minister of the Southland Christian Church in Lexington. I listen to their weekly podcast, so I’ve listened to a lot of Southland’s sermons. In this particular sermon, John Weece mentioned that he regularly picks a spot in downtown Lexington where he stands with a sign that reads “free hugs,” and does just that. He offers a free hug to anyone who wants one. No strings attached — just offers a hug to passersby who may need one that day.

I’ll admit, on first thought it seems strange — even radical. Who stands around outside with a sign giving out free hugs? Who would want a free hug from a stranger? However, he assured that his “free hugs” has afforded him the opportunity to reach people with God’s love that he may have never met, otherwise. So, some friends from our small Wednesday night Bible Study group decided that on September 3, they would offer “free hugs” outside our local Walmart for one hour.

Having two small children, I thought it was great that my friends (who didn’t have kids) would participate in this, but didn’t really think I’d have the opportunity (nor did I have much of a desire) to join them. However, a friend texted me after work that day and encouraged me to bring my three-year-old (at that time — he is now five), Jay. So … I did. What an amazing experience this proved to be for me.

Jay and I each made a poster. His said, “Need a Hug?” and Mine just said “Free Hugs.” He was thrilled throughout the experience. First, he thought it was awesome that he got to help make his own hug sign. Then, he was thrilled at the opportunity to talk to ANYONE he wanted to at Walmart. You see, Jay is quite the chatty fellow and has always had LOTS of questions — even for strangers. While it doesn’t bother me at all that he is inquisitive and friendly, it can be exhausting at times trying to help him stay reined in. He hasn’t had a keen sense of when to stop talking or asking questions — or when it’s not appropriate to ask a question. Nevertheless, I decided to tote him over to Walmart. Yes, asking complete strangers if they wanted a hug was radical, but it was right up my little Jay’s alley. As a matter of fact, talking with strangers is one of his areas of expertise.

There were about five of us that showed up that afternoon with our free hug signs and we stood on the sidewalk in front of the store for all to see. The grown ups in our group began in a bit of a backward state. Were we really doing this? But, little Jay showed no shame. He was unapologetically friendly, and couldn’t wait to give out his free hugs. As it would turn out, all of us ended up following the lead of the three-year old among us. We asked each person as they approached the store if they’d like a free hug. It was interesting to see the different reactions. Some would politely say “no thanks.” Others made no response and made no eye contact at all. Many only wanted a hug from three-year-old Jay (perhaps because he followed many of the people who walked past us through the front doors of the store pleading to give away a hug). Then, there were those who smiled with open arms, saying “why not?” Several responded that they sure could use a free hug today; and I remember one young man who didn’t smell very nice who said, “there sure isn’t a lot of free stuff in the world today,” and he proceeded to hug each and every one of us with a smile as wide as his open arms.

As a teacher with a masters degree in school counseling, I’ve done my fair share of study about people. I remember having to write papers both in undergraduate Psychology and in a graduate Multicultural counseling course about an “out of comfort zone experience.” I certainly had never chosen to give out free hugs for these papers, but I wish I had. I learned so much about myself, others, and my son through this experience. What I had assumed would be an uncomfortable and miserable hour turned out to be one of the most enjoyable and memorable experiences I believe I will recall from that time in my son’s life.

The best part about these “free hugs” that we gave away was that they were for everyone. We weren’t only appealing to individuals in our small circle of friends, in our circle of co-workers, or in our class at school. No, we were offering free hugs to anyone and everyone who would accept them. Someday, I know Jay will better understand this experience — and I know he will never forget it. He will understand someday that as we offered free hugs to everyone, Jesus offers freedom from sin to all people who are willing to accept. He doesn’t judge us for what we wear, how we smell, or where we send our children to school. He doesn’t hold our shortcomings against us. He sees us all in the same light. He sees us all as lovable, forgivable, and worthy of a relationship with him (even when the truth is that we don’t deserve that kind of love, forgiveness, or relationship). He freely offers what we cannot possibly purchase, earn, or deserve. Ephesians 2:4-5 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Matthew 18:1-4

1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Angels — Those Amazing Ministering Spirits

Hebrews 1:14

¹⁴ Aren’t all the angels ministering spirits who are sent to serve those who are going to inherit salvation?

When I was nine months pregnant with my firstborn child, my beloved Papaw was taken suddenly and unexpectedly from our family. It was October — almost Halloween. My due date was fast approaching. Papaw already knew the baby’s name was “Jay.” He had seen my belly grow. He had felt him move. He had visited me when at 32 weeks I was put on bed rest. He almost got a face-to-face meeting with my little James Bryson. My Papaw was an amazing man — an angel, some would say. He was a minister to many. I always like to think of him as a sort of “Paul” who ministered and encouraged so many Christians. The day of his passing, he had volunteered all day working on our church’s building expansion project. He had attended Monday night Bible study that evening and then after a series of mini-strokes, an ER visit, and TPA infusion (treatment), he suffered a major brain bleed and went home to be with Jesus shortly after 5 the next morning. Exactly seven days after my Papaw’s passing, God’s little gift to our family finally made his debut in the world. Baby Jay did so much to lift the spirits of not only myself, but also of my Mother and my dear, sweet Mamaw. He was like a little angel sent to minister to our hearts and lift our spirits after such a heartbreaking loss. Yes, our world had changed completely over the span of one week’s events.

Life without Papaw was different for everyone, but we all adjusted. My Mom became the master gardener of the family and with my Dad’s help, raised a garden that would even compete with the finest of gardens that my sweet Papaw had raised. My parents moved their sleeping quarters to my Mamaw’s house. You see, Mamaw had multiple hip replacement surgeries throughout the years and at the time of Papaw’s passing was confined to a power chair. However, she remained amazingly independent in that motorized chair that we liked to refer to as her “Cadillac.” My Mom, however shifted roles immensely during this time. Not only did she and my dad begin sleeping at Mamaw’s house, but she became much of a caregiver to my Mamaw. Though Mamaw remained independent in spirit and in many daily tasks, there were simply a host of physical tasks that she was unable to do for herself. My Mom was her little guardian angel — always thinking ahead about what Mamaw might need and putting her own needs aside.

Fast forward four and a half years, and my parents now call my grandparents’ little house on the hill “home.” My Mom has enjoyed doting over her mother, fixing her hair,doing her grocery shopping, washing her clothes, cooking her meals, and Mamaw has certainly loved the attention. Their lives became so intertwined that Mom didn’t go anywhere or do anything without first considering my Mamaw. After the recent and sudden passing of our dear cousin Pat, my family (Matt, myself, our boys, Bethany, Shane, their kids, and Mom, Dad, and Mamaw) all traveled to Ohio for the visitation and funeral services. Following the Saturday morning funeral, the family gathered at a restaurant for a luncheon. Mamaw enjoyed her lunch with family, and immediately following the meal, she suffered a sudden stroke, much like my Papaw. She was quickly transported via ambulance to the ER at Fairfield Mercy Hospital. Despite the best of care and hopeful efforts of the stroke team doctor who, like a true angel even wept with us during this time, Mamaw also suffered a massive brain bleed following TPA treatment — exactly like my Papaw. Thankfully, we (her immediate family — including her brother, also named Jay) were there with her and were able to spend time with her in her last alert moments. She was able to recognize each and every one of us (Mom, Dad, Bethany, Me, and her baby brother, Jay) before becoming unresponsive. Following a transport back to Pikeville and three days in Pikeville Medical Center, my sweet Mamaw Mary went home to be with Jesus.

While her sudden sickness and passing is heartbreaking to me, it is also an amazing testimony. Recently, Mamaw expressed that she was hopeful that God would take her quickly just like He had taken my Papaw. Amazingly, our God is that merciful. She was treated for the stroke in a hospital called “MERCY.” And — God’s mercy is exactly what she experienced. You see, even though she remained pleasant, sweet, thoughtful, and kind, I know that Mamaw never truly stopped grieving for her sweetheart and husband of 60 years. For four and a half years, she lived life seemingly contently and tried not to be a burden to anyone. However, I know that the yearning of her heart was to go on to be with her sweetheart in GLORY. How merciful and faithful our God is to have known this desire of her heart and to have taken her peacefully on to Heaven. Oh, how sweet their reunion must have been on Wednesday (the day after what would have been my Papaw’s 89th birthday). My heart is full just imagining that moment.

In dealing with my children throughout this experience, especially my inquisitive four and a half-year-old, Jay, it has been eye opening at how much a little one truly understands. Little Jonah (almost 2) was able to vocalize that Mamaw Damron was sleeping. And I have stood in awe at my very articulate Jay as he has processed, questioned, grieved, and even rejoiced in Mamaw Damron’s escape from this earth into Gloryland. Over and again, he has asked, “Why did Mamaw Damron die? Does this mean that I’m not going to see her anymore? Is she not going to talk to me anymore? What is going to happen if Jesus comes back? What will happen to me if Jesus doesn’t come back first?” He is learning — and grieving. Three times since Wednesday, he has broken down in tears as he is coming to the realization that we will not be enjoying Mamaw’s sweet hugs and kisses anymore in this life. I explained to Jay yesterday that Mamaw Damron was able to walk, run, jump, and even dance now in heaven because she has a new body. I explained that we would get to see her sleeping body at the funeral home, but that Mamaw Damron feels so much better in Heaven than she did here on Earth. His immediate next comment, “Mom, does God have a swimming pool so Mamaw Damron can swim in Heaven?!?” And he followed that with, “Is she finally with her sweetheart, Papaw Damron now?” Tonight we were greeted by hundreds of friends at the funeral home as one by one, each paid their respects to the family and shared fond memories of my sweet Mamaw. Each visitor held a special place in my heart and ministered so much to my spirit. I felt the entire room was full of angels, each doing exactly what he or she could to comfort my family. After six hours, exhausted, I drove home with my children this evening and Jay’s mind went to work again, “Mom, why did Mamaw Damron have on new skin?” I explained that she was wearing her same skin, but she had on some makeup, but she would have a new body in Heaven. His next words: “Well, I didn’t see very many cracks or wrinkles in her skin.” I explained that Mamaw Damron had very beautiful skin for age 86. Then he asked, “Will she have a new voice in Heaven, too? Because she couldn’t talk to me anymore.” To that, I simply said, I don’t really know, but he can ask God someday. He moved on to his next topic: “Mom, If Mamaw Damron is in Heaven, and we are going to go there with her someday, how are we going to get to visit her? I don’t see a ladder anywhere….and there isn’t a rope. So, how are we going to get there to see her?” I explained that we would live our lives for Jesus and some day the Holy Spirit would take us there, too, just like he took Mamaw Damron there. Then his thoughts turned to this “Holy Spirit” I had mentioned. We had talked about it before. “Mom, is the Holy Spirit the #1 God, the #2 God, or the #3 God?” He was referring to a previous discussion about God, the Trinity. So I answered that the Holy Spirit is who lives in us when we belong to Christ. He helps to comfort us and helps us to know what is best to do, but God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are really all just One BIG God. That seemed to satisfy him on that question for now. Then as we finally pulled in our driveway, he said, “Mom, I’m really proud of you for not crying tonight. You did a really great job.” My heart melted. He clearly was not watching me or with me all evening because I certainly had moments of tears, but how amazing it is to know that my little angel understands the grief my heart is feeling; He is feeling it, too; And he is rejoicing with me, that Mamaw Damron is resting in the sweet peace of a merciful Savior.

I am thankful that God has surrounded me with my own personal “angels” at the passing of each of my grandparents. Yes, our Heavenly Father understands exactly what we need — and He is able to provide comfort like no other. Even in grief, I have been blessed.

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Traveling With Tots — Part Two (packing in grocery bags)

I shared in my previous post that my husband and I recently traveled 8 hours to northern Indiana on a quick up-and-back trip to visit family. We have experienced our fair share of traveling woes since becoming parents, but were proud to report a successful traveling venture with our two toddler boys (ages 3 and 1) on this quick visit.

To ensure that we would enjoy ourselves throughout our travels, I worked ahead of time, preparing an itinerary that would provide for age-appropriate and enjoyable family recreation, meal-times, and naps along the way (see Traveling With Tots — Part One for details). While I credit a well-planned and executed itinerary as the biggest contributor to our happy travels on this excursion, I must also credit the enjoyable travel experience to being efficiently packed.

Why is it so important pack efficiently? It’s important not to over pack because it just creates more stuff to load, unload, and keep organized. It’s important not to under pack (especially with toddlers) because the chance is good that extra clothes and snacks will be used. Here’s a summary of our luggage for this trip:

ONE large suitcase — we took this suitcase in at each hotel. It contained all of our toiletries, two pillows (Matt and I are pillow snobs — no hotel pillow can compare to our own), and the necessary clothes for each stop.

Thirty-One Large Utility Tote — I used this bag for the clothes we DIDN’T need to take in at each stop. This stayed in the van for the duration of the trip.

Black Diaper Bag — I used this bag as a purse/diaper bag. I carried it everywhere. It contained my cell phone, wallet, diapers, wipes, baby snacks, sippy cup, and of course a tightly rolled change of clothes for each boy.

Blue Diaper Bag — I packed this bag full of diapers and extra wipes, as well as a clean sippy cup for Jonah for each day of the trip. I kept this bag in the “stow-and-go” compartment under the floor of the van. At each stop, I just restocked my black diaper bag from this one. I wanted to carry enough diapers with me, but didn’t want to overcrowd the diaper bag I would carry with me everywhere. This bag was easily accessible, yet out of the way.

Cooler — This was my first experience at packing a cooler for a trip (truth). I filled it with bottled water, individual snack bags of grapes and strawberries that I had prepared for the boys, string cheese, and a few pre-made sandwiches. I know this helped us save quite a bit of money, time, and calories that we would have spent going through drive-thrus just to get a snack or a drink. We kept the cooler at the very back of the van where we could easily access it at all of our stops. *Note: we refilled it with ice from a gas station once on the trip.

Backpack — I limited toys to whatever would fit in Jay’s L.L. Bean backpack. I strategically chose toys that were small, yet would provide maximum entertainment. I even varied types of toys — from superheros to sticker books. Interestingly, our itinerary was so well planned that we never opened this toy bag on the entire trip. The boys were sleeping when we drove and enjoying an activity at each stop.

I’ll elaborate a bit on the organization of our clothing for this trip. Because I knew the activities we had planned on our itinerary, I first grouped our clothes in labeled piles according to activity/needs. My piles included:

Sunday Church/Travel clothes

Monday Zoo/Travel clothes

Monday evening restaurant clothes

Tuesday morning park/travel clothes

Wednesday petting zoo/travel clothes

Extra outfits for boys (2 each)

Extra outfits for Mom and Dad (2 each)

Swimming Attire

In each pile, I put a complete outfit for each family member, including all parts (underwear, socks, undershirt, etc.).

Second, I placed each pile in a separate labeled plastic grocery bag. (That’s right — one plastic grocery bag contained a complete outfit for all four of us — so I chose strategically and rolled them tightly.)

Third, I filled our suitcase with the bags labeled Monday Zoo/travel clothes, Extra outfits for boys, Extra outfits for Mom and Dad, and Swimming Attire. (The first of these four bags would change at each stop; the other three remained in the suitcase for the duration of our trip.)

Fourth, I placed all of the other plastic grocery bags of clothes in my Thirty-One Large Utility Tote (it was perfect size). I wouldn’t need anything from this tote until we had reached our hotel in Indiana.

When we unloaded in Indiana, I was able to grab the grocery bag labeled Monday evening restaurant clothes from the back of our van and carry it in with our ONE suitcase. I did this at each stop — only taking in the necessary clothing — and leaving the rest in the van. Also, at each stop, we were able to fill the emptied grocery bags with our dirty clothes. Therefore, when we finally arrived home from our trip, all of our dirty clothes had cycled into the Thirty-One Large Utility Tote. This meant that I “toted” them directly to my laundry room and was able to have all of our clothes from the trip washed on the very evening we arrived home in two quick loads.

Advantages to this “grocery bag” packing:

1. We only carried in the necessary clothes at each hotel stop. (meaning less baggage to handle — very important when handling two toddlers at each stop)

2. I didn’t have to waste time “picking out” which outfit each of us would wear while we were on the trip. I did all the “picking” when I packed.

3. I was confident that I had packed “enough” but not “too much.”

4. After we settled in for the night in each hotel, I grabbed the bag for the next day to lay out the clothes for each person for the next morning. It made for smooth mornings.

5. Since I didn’t know when/where we may swim on this trip, our “swimming attire” bag stayed in the suitcase for the duration of the trip so that we had it when we needed it. Having our damp swimming clothes contained in a bag that I had packed rather than scurrying to find a bag at the hotel was nice.

6. I kept the two bags of our “extra outfits” in the suitcase for the entire trip. I did have to dig into each of them. We had just enough extra to be prepared, but I limited it to what would fit in a grocery bag.

7. Because I was trying to fit four outfits into one plastic grocery bag, I strategically chose clothing that could be tightly rolled and packed compactly with minimal wrinkles.

I thought this packing technique was pretty genius — and Matt even complimented me on being well-planned and organized. He was grateful that he only had to carry one suitcase back and forth from the van to our hotel room each night, and he was especially thankful that I had picked out all of HIS clothes for the trip, too. 😉

The next time we travel, I think the plastic grocery bags will make another appearance in my suitcase.

Traveling With Tots – Part One (An Itinerary for Success)

One of the nicest parts of being a “teacher family” (Matt and I both teach high school) is that we enjoy long Summer Breaks together with plenty of opportunities for traveling. When Matt and I first got married, we enjoyed traveling a lot — we enjoyed several long vacations and even took frequent overnight, or day trips together. We loved time in the car together spent talking, we loved trying new restaurants of a variety of cuisines, and we really loved racking up points on our hotel rewards credit card so we could often earn free lodging. For three-and-a-half years our traveling life was pretty spontaneous and exciting. Then… came babies; a brand new type of “spontaneous” and “exciting”!

Having children has certainly not stopped these teacher-Moons from traveling. However, it has taken much of the spontaneity out of our travel experiences. Earlier this week we made a quick trip to northern Indiana to visit some family. The driving time one way was 8 hours. Needless to say, an 8-hour driving trip with a one-year-old and a three-year-old could quickly become a miserable 12-hour-or-longer day, so this traveling Momma did some major planning to make sure travel was enjoyable for both parents and toddlers.

Nap time for both boys is around 1:00 PM. So, what better time to drive, than when the boys are sleepy? Last week I worked to create a detailed itinerary for our travel to make the very best use of nap times and planned stops for exercise for our boys (this was the first time I have ever planned a family trip in such detail). Since the drive was 8 hours one way and since we were only planning to spend one night in northern Indiana before we made the trek back home, we broke the 8-hour drive into two four-hour driving days. Here is a look at our travel itinerary for the first 8-hour drive:

Sunday

• 1:30 PM — Depart from Home
• 4:00 PM — Arrive in Lexington — visit Kids Place Playland (a very well spent $8) for exercise
• 6:00 PM — eat at Johnny Carino’s (located near playland)
• 7:30 PM — depart Lexington for Louisville
• 8:30 PM — arrive at Louisville Hotel (Priceline — $50 — Springfield Suites by Mariott)
• 9:00 – 10:00 PM — swim at hotel for exercise

Monday

• 10:00 AM — depart hotel (after continental-already-paid-for-breakfast)
• 10:15 AM — arrive at Louisville Zoo ($48 admission for our family — money well spent — it was my boys’ first visit to the zoo and they both loved it)
• 1:00 PM — depart Zoo, pick up drive-thru lunch nearby (Wendy’s — under $10)
• 4:00 PM — Stop in Lafayette, IN at Chick-Fil-A for snack/exercise (they had a playland)   *note: On my original itinerary I had planned a stop at an indoor inflatables play place in Lafayette, but we were hungry for a snack and were about to pass Chick-Fil-A on our way to our planned stop– so we were flexible. 🙂
• 5:00 PM — Depart Lafayette
• 5:00 PM — Arrive at Hotel in Hebron, IN (There was an hour drive on the last leg of the trip, but we changed time zones. That last hour took “no time”

We probably deviated a bit from the times I listed above, but this was roughly how our travel went. By researching ahead of time, planning for long-haul driving at nap time, and planning specific stops to allow our boys the opportunity to get out and exercise, travel was enjoyable both for parents and children on this trip.

Our trek home was a little less “planned” as I allowed for flexibility in departure time on Tuesday, though we again spent the night in Louisville (Priceline — $50 — The Galt House) and enjoyed feeding the animals Wednesday morning with our boys at the FREE Henry’s Ark Petting Zoo (FREE is a great price — though we made a small donation to the zoo and also spent $1.99 at Kroger on a bag of carrots for the animals). This again allowed us to start the long drive home close to nap time.

I have certainly had a few frustrating attempts at traveling with my tots in the past. Perhaps this is why I took such great pains in specifically planning each leg of our 8-hour drive. By making plans for toddler-appropriate, economical stops at the right times of day, we were able to make this travel experience one we will remember fondly as opposed to some of our nightmarish attempts of the past.

Traveling happily with tots is certainly possible — it just takes a little extra planning! This Moon Mama will be outlining family travel itineraries in the future!

In “Traveling With Tots — Part Two” I will explain how I packed compactly and efficiently for this well-planned travel excursion.

See Below: Jay feeds the Zebra and Jonah feeds the Emu at Henry’s Ark Petting Zoo

Introducing… the Super Moons!

Ladies and Gentlemen … I would like to take a moment to introduce the brave, the fearless, the AMAZING… “Super-Moons!” The Super Moons are a family of four crime-fighting, people-loving superheroes who are a little known secret in this world. They each have different super-hero abilities, but are all learning to use their strengths to combat evil and build a strong family unit. Let’s meet them.

First, meet the youngest of the group — “Super Jonah” (also sometimes called “Super Jo”). While Super Jonah is a mere 24 pounds at 14 months of age, his superhero abilities are undeniable. Super Jo is the climber of the group. He uses his super-climbing skills to retrieve dangerous remote-controls and cordless telephones that have been hidden on the backs of couches everywhere. He also possesses super-tap-dancing-abilities. When he hears evil approaching, he quickly climbs atop an end table or coffee table and begins to tap. The pitter patter of his feet alerts everyone around of the imminent danger. Though his climbing and tapping skills are second to none in the superhero world, Super Jo is still refining his aquatic capabilities. He fearlessly leaped into the Super-Moons’ training pool one day last week to show off an underwater flip. Thankfully, Super Dad and Super Mom were both there supervising this dare-devilish stunt because little Super Jo isn’t quite ready to fight solo in an aquatic attack, though he is fearless.

The second superhero of the clan, “Super Jay” is the real aquatic adventurer of this group. Super Jay, at 42 pounds, three-and-a-half feet tall, and three-and-a-half years old can out-swim the fastest of villians. Any evil that approaches Super Jay near water will be quickly defeated with his power-cannonball. However, if a stealthy attack is necessary, it’s not a problem for Super Jay. He simply fits his super-big-brown-eyes with his super-goggles and dives underwater to catch his enemies. Super Jay’s real secret weapon, however is his mind. He has an amazing ability of memorizing. Once, when an evil villian, “The Potty Trainer,” was upon him, he was able to remember and quote a line from a movie, “SIEZE THAT CREATURE!” Amazingly, the Potty Trainer doubled over in laughter and was unable to force herself on him. On another occasion, he was able to use a memorized movie quote to fight off “Super Dad” in a training session. When he declared, “You are a sad, strange little man” to Super Dad, the super-parents decided that  superhero training for the day was finished. You see — they had just discovered that Super Jay’s secret weapon was truly his gift of memorization. Since that time, the super-parents have trained Jay in memorizing the books of the New Testament (he had accomplished this at age two-and-a-half) and several Bible verses. They figure that if all his memorizing is put to good practice, Super Jay will grow up knowing just how to use his super powers for good.

“Super Dad” is the level head of this superhero family. He is a strong leader, a compassionate spirit, and a people-lover. He uses his super-weapons, the baton and trombone, to fight off the evil villian “intonation” in most of his daily battles. However, Super Mom says that his  most pronounced super-skill is his magnetic strength. He uses his magnetic ability to lure in people everywhere — and people everywhere love Super-Dad. Super-Mom likes to say he just has a “magnetic personality.” 😉

“Super Mom,” being the only female in this superhero family grows in super strength by seeing her boys learn and grow. She delights in uncovering the powers and abilities of her super-children and rests easy knowing that Super-Dad is the family leader. You see, being the only female in a family of superheroes means Super Mom feels pretty safe and protected. However, if need be, Super Mom can take on the strongest of enemies. You see, Super Mom has a Super God that she turns to for wisdom and strength. Super Mom’s God promises that she can do anything, “through Christ who gives [her] strength.” That’s pretty SUPER if you ask me.

Strong-Willed Jay: Shape it — don’t break it.

As a working Mother (of the two most precious baby boys on the planet), I have experienced a whole roller coaster of parenting emotions — and I know many of you can relate. Guilt, jealousy, pleasure, excitement, stress, pride, gratitude, and most importantly — love have all been mine throughout this working-mom adventure. As a teacher, I have been blessed to have summers at home with my babies, as well as long holiday breaks throughout the school year, so I’m not a stranger to the stay-at-home-mom lifestyle. And as much as I enjoy my days at home, I look forward to and thoroughly enjoy my working days, too.

The biggest decision for we families who have two full-time working parents lies in childcare arrangements. Matt and I have been blessed tremendously with wonderful parents (his and mine) who have gladly fulfilled our childcare needs throughout the school year, along with our third adopted parents, Bob and Nana (dear friends from our church who also give of their time to care for our boys). So, in our family the time that Mommy and Daddy have been working has been special bonding time for our boys with their grandparents (all 3 sets!). We have been blessed beyond measure to have such wonderful childcare arrangements.

Around the time that Jay turned 3 (last November), parenting became increasingly difficult. I have mentioned before about Jay’s strong-will, but I don’t know if words can adequately describe his level of “willfulness.” In retrospect, I know that my little Jay was doing a whole lot of learning about life around that third birthday (about 6 months after his new baby brother joined our family). Thinking from his perspective, here are the questions he was dealing with around that time:

Why is everyone (my caretakers and parents) holding baby Jonah so much? Why do I need to try to be quiet when the baby is sleeping? Why do I have to try to take a nap — I’m not tired. Why doesn’t anyone like to change my diapers anymore? Why am I supposed to stop playing to try sitting on the potty? Why doesn’t Jonah have to sit on the potty, too? Why do I have to share my toys with the baby? Why can’t I wrestle Jonah like I wrestle my toys? Why can’t I pick Jonah up and carry him by myself?  Why does my Mommy have to feed Jonah all the time? Why doesn’t Jonah just eat at the table like me?

Yes, 3-year-old Jay did a lot of learning around the time that his brother came into the world. And being such a strong-willed child, Jay met the frustrations and changes coming at him with strong reactions. Okay, let’s call it what it was — temper-tantrums. Arms flailing; feet kicking; throat screaming; fists punching; head butting. Our super-sweet, smart, and lively Jay could throw a fit that Mommy physically could not restrain — and heaven help anyone who would try to hold him down in a tantrum. In desperation, I began researching, reading, reflecting, and closing off my world as much as possible from others. You see, it’s not “cool” to be the parent of the kid who has tantrums. For some reason, our society has taught us that “good parents” have children who sit quietly in church, who share their toys, who potty train early, and respond with sincere tears when they are disciplined. My child didn’t display any of these qualities, so my self-worth as a capable parent quickly went down the toilet. The truth is, “good parents” meet each obstacle with a determination to succeed.

Since that time, I have done a lot of reading about coping with and parenting strong-willed children. One thought that resonates with me came from Dr. James Dobson’s book, The Strong-Willed Child. While I am parenting my strong-willed child, it is important that I help shape his will, not break his will (my own paraphrase). After prayer, research, a child psychologist consult, pediatrician visit, and more prayer, Matt and I decided that the best change for our Strong-Willed boy would be daycare. This was a drastic change for all of us, but I wholeheartedly believe this was the answer for which I had prayed.

I could go on and on naming the wonderful things that Jay has learned and experienced at daycare, but I’ll just list a few:

• He quickly potty trained (seeing the other children go had much more convincing power than any sticker chart or prize for my strong-willed fellow)
• He distinguishes most all of his geometric shapes (including pentagon, octagon, and rhombus — this math teaching Mama is happy)
• He is learning phonetics (yes, I can work on this with him at home and I do — but he LOVES doing this at “school”)
• He recognizes all capital letters and most lower case letters
• He can write his own name (okay … three letters … but still — he’s just 3 years old)
• He has learned to SHARE HIS TOYS (this deserves capital letters because it is huge for him)
• He pretend-plays with other children
• He has learned about rejection (when another child didn’t “like” him — it was a struggle, but we’re all stronger after going through it)
• He has learned to eat a better variety of foods (it’s amazing what they will try eating when they see other kids trying it — especially for strong-willed kids)
• He has learned to take a consistent nap (okay — he does this consistently at “school” — he still won’t nap regularly at home)
• He has learned that he’s big enough to have his own little social agenda (he LOVES telling Mom and Dad about his day at school — he’s so proud)
• He has learned to ride a tricycle
• He has improved his coordination with a ball

I could go on and on, but the best thing he has learned is how to control his temper. Jay rarely ever has a temper tantrum now. He has seen other children sit through time-outs in the red chair at school without throwing a tantrum, and now he is able to mimic that behavior — even at home.

Strong-willed Jay will always be strong-willed,however. Yesterday, he had a little slip up at daycare. He pushed another child and so, was placed in the red time-out chair. This is a rare occurrence. Jay rarely ever does anything at daycare that requires a time-out and for whatever reason, he was determined that he would not be put in time-out this time. When I picked him up, his teacher described an arm flailing fit that he had thrown when she told him to sit in time-out. She didn’t have to go into great detail. I knew exactly what that fit looked like. I’ve seen it many times (though it’s not been around much in the past few months). Jay and I quickly left and we had a long talk on the car ride home. By the time we got home, Jay was apologizing to me for behaving badly (it was sincere). He and I together decided the right thing to do would be to do his 3-minute time out as soon as we got inside since he didn’t do his time-out at school like he was supposed to (side note: part of successfully parenting the strong willed child is letting him have ownership in the idea — so… learning to manipulate the situation when necessary to make him think the punishment is his own idea). After he finished his time-out, I went in his room to talk about it again. I asked him what he thought he needed to tell his teacher when he saw her again. He said, “I need to tell her I am sorry for pushing and I am sorry for throwing a fit.” I agreed. Then Jay said, “Mom, I need to go tell my teacher that I’m sorry right now.” So … we loaded back up in the car, drove back to the daycare, and I led him back inside to make his apology. He walked up and apologized like a big boy, then asked his teacher where the little boy was that he had pushed — he wanted to apologize to him, too (I didn’t know he was going to do that). Though the other little fellow had gone home for the day, I’m sure Jay will properly make amends the next time he is at daycare. What a proud moment for me. I’m not glad he threw a fit, but I’m certainly glad to have reached his heart in teaching him that what he did was wrong.

It is truly amazing how a fit that would have left me feeling powerless a few short months ago has turned into such an awesome parenting success story today. If there’s anything I’m certain of about parenting, it’s that I don’t know it all — especially about anyone else’s children — but I’ll work my very hardest to know what I need to know to do the best parenting possible for my little Moon men.

Sweet music to my ears…

Three-year-old Jay sporting his spider-man roller gear and “new” sun visor

Infant, Jonah enjoying the blue bouncy seat — Summer, 2012

For three days I have spent time lifting, tugging, organizing, purging, sorting, stacking, talking, selling, laughing, reminiscing, and yes … a little crying. If you can’t guess from my list of clues, I’ve been having a yard sale. I have been blessed by two full days with my Mother, sister, spunky grandmother, and my precious niece Aly. Thankfully, we ended the sale with a little more cash and a little less clutter. That was the goal, though it seems I got a lot more out of this yard sale than a little cash. It’s amazing the flood of memories that a yard sale can unleash.

I remember helping my Mom with yard sales as a little girl alongside my two-and-a-half-years-older sister. We proudly set up a lemonade stand at our little red picnic table as Mom and Mamaw sold their household goods and clothing.  I remember my Papaw feeling sorry for his only two granddaughters making just a quarter here and there on a brownie or cup of lemonade, so he brought us some of his fresh garden tomatoes to sell for $1 each. We racked up some business on that yard sale produce stand.

Fast forward twenty-some years and there we were this weekend — sisters as close as ever selling our own household goods and clothing alongside our Mom and Mamaw with little Aly be-bopping around as our helpful bookkeeper. I was reminded of my sweet Papaw bringing us those garden tomatoes as I watched my Mom and Dad offering our little Aly Hope odd jobs here and there to earn a few extra dollars throughout the two-day sale.

When three-year-old Jay came to entertain us at the sale, he, of course had to spend some time shopping in the toys. These rejected toys suddenly had “new life” when they were all boxed up together at the yard sale. Infant halloween costumes became costumes for baby dolls and an old sun visor became a new designer hat. And… spider man roller skates. Oh, the spider man roller skates. I held my face in my hand as I realized my determined three-year-old had removed his sandals and was fitting his feet in his older cousin Luke’s outgrown skates. Thankfully, Aly helped fit him in the matching knee pads and elbow pads and Jay saw the entire ensemble as a super-cool superhero costume. I assumed he would quickly be finished with his skating adventure once he found that maneuvering was quite tricky. Shame on me for underestimating him. Jay took off on the skates making careful strides around the carport, refusing to hold the hand I offered. Of course, he wiped out a couple of times, but no tear was shed. He kept this up for nearly an hour and took great pride in showing me that he was “big enough” to skate. You see, when Jay Moon makes up his mind about something, there is nothing that anyone can do to stop him. Those of you who know him well understand the extent to which this is true. His independent spirit has made for some difficult toddler moments, but in the grand scheme of life his independence, self-confidence, and determination are all qualities that will help him grow up to be the real superhero that I know he is inside. My Mom reminds me that she and my Dad raised a little girl who had that same determined spirit. 😉

Among the inventory of our yard sale was a large supply of baby boy clothing. Knowing that our families are complete, my sister and I decided to purge our collection of baby clothes from our FOUR boys as 1-year old Jonah outgrows them. It was almost an embarrassing display as we piled the sleepers, gowns, onesies, and outfits on three long tables. Yes, we have been very blessed. My Mamaw smiled as she listened to us talk about where each piece came from and which babies had worn each little outfit. Each piece carried precious memories of special days.

Though I loved each article of clothing that my babies had worn, I was happy to see new Mommies and proud grandparents carrying away my boys’ beautiful clothes for another precious child to use. I was thrilled to reclaim some floor space in my house, as well when I sold my boys’ baby swing and jumping activity center. However, when an excited grandmother carried away my boys’ bouncy seat for her third grandbaby, I couldn’t hold back the tears. I quickly found some privacy to regain my composure. I laughed a little inside (and I know my sister laughed a lot) at how silly it was to cry over a bouncy seat. After all, I couldn’t wait to get all of the little-baby gear out of my house. I did not want to store it and certainly could use the floor space. I had no idea that selling a little blue chair would evoke such an emotional response. So, why? What was it about seeing this little chair carried away that made my eyes well up and spill over with tears? It was something more powerful than we sometimes recognize. It wasn’t the thought of it being gone. It wasn’t the sight of someone carrying it away. No. It was the music. After I explained all the chair’s features to the expectant grandmother, I turned the switch to demonstrate the music it played. There was a sweet series of soft lullabies — none of which were popular, recognizable tunes — but to me, they were beautiful. Those soft little lullabies are some of the sweetest songs my ears have ever heard. I could sing along with every note and suddenly I could see my boys kicking, bouncing, sleeping; I could hear them cooing; I could feel and smell their sweet baby skin. Not even a picture, which is “worth a thousand words,” could evoke this vivid a memory and emotion in me. A thousand pictures couldn’t do what this one moment of soft music did to make me remember every detail. I pray that the next mommy listens to the music on the little blue chair and drinks in every moment with her new precious newborn — because babies grow quickly and  those sweet, sweet songs truly are worth a thousand memories.

Little Climber and Refrigerator Garbage…

Jay – 3 and a half
Jonah – 1 year old

Hello, friends. I chose to start a blog to help preserve my stories and feelings as I raise my two active, intelligent, interesting, funny, and precious boys, James “Jay” Bryson (age 3 and a half) and Jonah Matthew (age 1)  Moon.

Jonah is a very active, toddling one year old. As a 9-month old he took his first strides across the room, so at 13 months, climbing is his newest adventure — and sometimes my nightmare. He is like a little spider-baby. It amazes me how quickly and with such persistence he manages to find any leverage available to hoist his 23 pound, 30-inch self on top of the couch, the train table, or even a rocking chair. Most recently, I stepped out of the living room and came back to find him standing on the end table, playing with the lamp. Yes, things are interesting around here. No matter how “baby proof” I try to make things, it seems little Jonah is out-smarting my finest efforts. What a sweetheart he is, though. Last week I took Jonah to the diagnostic center to have his blood drawn (routine prior to his 1-year well baby appointment). I really dreaded this and put it off as long as possible. You see, when I took Jay for the same routine bloodwork, we experienced 3 pokes and no success. He was hysterical. I was a nervous wreck. I refused to try again with him. Not expecting a good experience, I called for back-up and took Nana with me for Jonah’s appointment. Much to my surprise, Jonah sat perfectly still and watched as the nurse inserted the needle, drew his blood, and applied the bandage. No whimper; no crying; no flench. (Here’s a shout out to Pikeville Medical Center’s Diagnostic Center staff for being especially good with babies.) The story was similar at his 1-year old well baby appointment this week when he didn’t even whimper at his two vaccinations. He’s a tough little man who loves to smile, loves to make us laugh, and really loves to dance.

Speaking of dancing, three-year-old Jay has a few dance moves of his own. Matt and I like to set Pandora Radio, or even our Direct TV to a Disco station and watch our boys dance to the music (okay, we usually dance along, too). Jay’s signature move is when he “shakes a tail-feather” (a move where he puts his little hand behind his back and shakes it up and down). He likes to show our family and friends this signature move in hopes of making everyone in the room laugh. He usually succeeds. He’s a real charmer, a clown, and my, oh my a talker!  He started talking pretty early and has never slowed down. Though his speech and vocabulary are quite developed at 3 and a half, he has not developed any type of volume control in his voice. He has one dynamic level — forte. This makes things super-interesting when Jay is awake and Jonah is trying to nap. Let’s just say we’ve had several “teachable” moments in which we try to model and teach vocal volume control (some of you didn’t realize that whispering is a difficult skill to master). We’re still working on it.

As parents of toddlers, one of the most important parts of being able to have a comfortable home is having a very safe, properly baby-proofed atmosphere. Matt and I have been pretty successful in feeling “safe” and “comfortable” at home because we have maintained a pretty toddler-safe atmosphere. That’s not to say that we haven’t done our fair share of scrambling. When Jay first learned to open doors with a door knob, things started to get interesting. My biggest concerns at this were him getting into the bathroom without our knowing, and getting into the kitchen garbage (which is located behind a closed pantry door). Of course, these were the two areas of most interest to him. After a few weeks of jumping at the sound of an opening door, we toddler-proofed the necessary door knobs so Jay couldn’t open them. This trick has worked like a charm for over a year and Jay even knows to come and ask us to open the bathroom door when he needs to go, or to open the pantry door when he needs to throw away a piece of garbage. He’s a very independent little boy, but has never seemed to mind asking for help with these doors until this week. I suppose in his world asking for help to throw something away  became a burden, so all of a sudden he stopped. I started noticing empty capri suns, napkins, and food wrappers in the bottom of  my refrigerator. I reminded him that he just needed to ask and Mommy or Daddy would open the pantry to let him throw his garbage away. It didn’t matter. He had already come up with his own solution and if I’ve learned anything at all about parenting, it’s that no matter what I want him to do or try to teach him to do — he does have his own little mind — and a very independent one at that. So … the baby proofing came off the pantry door. My 3-year-old now has the personal freedom to throw away his garbage on his own without asking an adult. I guess they  grow out of the baby-proofing gradually. We’ve had several days here of “garbage independence” and Jay has handled it like a big boy. No garbage messes around the house; no garbage cans turned over in the floor. But I wonder…what will we do when Jonah …well, maybe Jonah won’t be interested in the garbage can. 🙂